Category: contemplation

Concealing My Natural Bindi, No More

Over the past many months, not seeing people except on Zoom or wearing a mask when I did see someone in person, I stopped wearing any make-up. Now that I am starting to get out and show my face to others more, it was time to re-examined my make-up routine.

I have worn make-up to cover “flaws” and even out my complexion. Taking a good look at myself in the mirror, I noticed that the red patch between my eyebrows appeared more significant than before. It reminded me of the red dot Hindi women wear.

I did not know what it was called. An internet search led me to the following:
… one of the most internationally-known body adornments worn by Hindu and Jain women is the bindi, a red dot applied between the eyebrows on the forehead. … There are seven main chakras that run along the center of the body, and the sixth one (called the ajna chakra, the “brow chakra” or “third eye chakra”) occurs exactly where the bindi is placed.

In Sanskrit, ajna translates as “command” or “perceive,” and is considered the eye of intuition and intellect. … the bindi’s purpose is to enhance the powers of this chakra, specifically by facilitating one’s ability to access their inner wisdom or guru, allowing them to see the world and interpret things in a truthful, unbiased manner as well as forsake their ego and rid their false labels.

… The two physical eyes are used for seeing the external world, while the third focuses inward toward God. As such, the red dot signifies piety as well as serving as a constant reminder to keep God at the center of one’s thoughts. (The Purpose of the Bindi by Shuvi Jha June 5, 2018)

After reading that, I no longer saw my naturally occurring “bindi” as a flaw, something to be covered up. Maybe it’s a little more pronounced these days because my connection with my internal Guide is getting stronger. The inside is being reflected on the outside. I am listening to the internal voice more and allowing intuition to guide my actions. In fact, the intention I have been asking my fellow MasterMind group participants to hold for me is “Spirit Guides me. All is well.” My bindi is a visual reminder of this connection to Spirit. I will now proudly leave it exposed.

Got Critics?

We all have them. If it’s not our own inner critic, it’s our family and sometimes even our closest friends. Through the years I have learned how to tame my own inner critic. Tame my family? Sometimes. Tame my friends? Not so much. I wonder what it is about me, that gives them the freedom/right to voice their unsolicited critical opinion of me, to me. I haven’t quite figured that out yet.

It was a typical Tuesday. A friend of mine walked in my home and saw something that she disapproved of. She stopped, pointed at it and immediately voiced her opinion at me. “I can’t believe you are feeding her this s***!” My body immediately felt a wave of tension rise up from my feet and come out my mouth. In an instant I was in defensive mode. She picks it up and starts reading the ingredients. “I know you don’t want to hear it.”

“No I don’t!” as I looked away. She continued on, and on, voicing her criticism of me and at the same time not wanting to hear my couple-minute-long defense.

Eventually we both dropped the conversation, but I picked it back up as soon as she left. The criticism of me, and the entire conversation, went around and around in my head. She said, I said. I took it to bed with me.

I woke up to a typical Wednesday, and chose to marinate on it all day, feeling my body tense up when ever I thought of it. I just wanted to let it go. I kept thinking, “consider the source” and mentally saying, “Not a word of truth in it.” That continued all Wednesday.

Finally and coincidentally (there are no coincidences) came the typical Thursday. Just like every other day, my day started out with our morning meditation group. During our 10 minute meditation I always read Norman Vincent Peale’s book Have a Great Day – Every Day! This day’s reading was written for me. I have reread it many times since then. This is what he had to say,

“A critic is an asset, though perhaps an unpleasant one. Consider criticism objectively and whether it is justified. If it is, then try to profit by it, even when it is unfriendly. If it isn’t valid, then forget it. Don’t criticize in return, just keep on doing your job to the best of your ability. Sure, it hurts, but we are not intended to go through life without some hurt. We are supposed to make strong people of ourselves.”

Since a critic is an asset, I’ll keep my critics and continue to work on taming them. They are in effect making me strong.

–Madeline Pallanes

Didn’t It Rain?!?!?!?!

Leave a comment

Photo M. Horowitz

I’m so grateful for the substantial monsoons we’re experiencing in Tucson this summer. They have a long way to go before we’ve caught up to our average rainfall for this past year. I choose to believe the rains of the last month have helped reduce the deficit. When I saw the rainfall totals late last week, and the flooding in parts of town, I was reminded of an old spiritual, “Didn’t It Rain, Children“, performed and sung by Sister Rosetta Tharpe
in 1944.  She was incredible, the lesser-known grandmother of rock and roll.

The picture I posted in the newsletter shows Sabino Dam at 700 CFS (cubic feet/second) The photo is courtesy of M. Horowitz, past-president of Sabino Canyon Volunteer Patrollers. As of last Friday morning (after our big rainfall event last Thursday night), the discharge rate at the dam is about 3500 CFS (or 5 times higher than when the photograph was taken), and the water volumes briefly hit about 9000 CFS overnight. The levels on Friday still indicated dangerously high flooding. We’ve had continued rainfall over the weekend, so while the water levels might have dropped, they might still be as high. I haven’t gone out to the Canyon to look.

We have a complicated relationship with rain. Rainfall is critical to life in the desert, just as potable water is critical to human life. In both cases, too much or too fast can create problems, if we haven’t prepared adequately for them. Sometimes, it isn’t possible to prepare, and we just hold on.

The song “Didn’t It Rain, Children” tells the story of Noah’s Ark. It can be told from a couple different perspectives, like all good teaching parables presented in the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible. It’s either a cautionary tale about what can happen when we misbehave, and ‘daddy god’ gets really upset with us and wipes us off the face of the earth. Or it can be a tale of redemption and promise, that heavenly parent god taking care of the humans who noticed, listened and worked toward their own experience of good for themselves and others (the animals). While I don’t believe this story is an actual-factual literal account of what happened to Noah and his family (if, indeed, they were actual people), or necessarily that there was a cataclysmic flood that destroyed almost all of humanity, there are some useful take-aways in the teaching parable.

We do always get to pay attention to what’s going on in our minds and in our lives, and take appropriate action. We have this failsafe partner in the Law that shows us exactly what we believe, and makes no errors in matching up what we believe with what we get to experience. And we have the perpetual promise of a rainbow when we align our actions with the highest and greatest good.

From Ernest Holmes, Hidden Power of the Bible, “The Bible is a book pointing a way to freedom under law, to guidance under love, to revelation through reason. Let us approach its study with this in mind, and much will become clear.”

“I’ve heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true.” – Roald Dahl
(creator of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, James & the Giant Peach, Matilda and so much more)

–Rev Janis

Got Relief?

Leave a comment

How do you spell relief? R-o-l-a-i-d-s? How you spell relief tells me a lot about you, without possibly even knowing you. For those of you too young to know, many years ago there was a commercial for Rolaids on TV. In the commercial the question was asked, “How do you spell relief?” The answer was R-o-l-a-i-d-s.

This past month I struggled with what to write about for this week’s newsletter. I kept thinking the words and thoughts would come to me, so I kept putting it off. I wanted the feeling of relief, knowing it was done. Last night as the deadline was drawing near, I received a lovely text from one of my dear friends who happens to be a member of CSLT. I blabbered on about the frustrations I was dealing with and then said, “Right now my mind is bogged down… I’m just feeling slightly overwhelmed… feeling a bit worn out….. but I know this too shall pass and tomorrow will be better.” She replied, “(Big breath in…then out…ahhh) I center and relax in the peace that all is well.” I felt immediate gratitude and joy for her companionship and guidance AND I felt immediate relief.

My morning meditation practice also gives me the feeling of relief. How fortunate I am to be able to rely on my morning meditation to feel relief. Morning meditation is my participation in our daily morning practice of meditation. Often during our discussion, I’ll write down what someone has said so that I can remember it later. Here are some thoughts that have come up during discussion and are held on my refrigerator by my CSLT nametag:

  • Live life on purpose
  • Who am I without my stuff?
  • Help me to understand
  • Divine ideas guide us to the best solution
  • If problems arise, get help
  • What is your greatest worry? Why do you tolerate it?
  • Lead me into situations I desire
  • Leaders don’t have to be vocal
  • Train your thoughts so that your outcome is always good

I feel relief just reading them.
So how do you spell relief? I spell it C-S-L-T.

—Madeline Pallanes

Experiencing the Father

Leave a comment

Fatherhood often gets a bum rap. We are conditioned, almost from our earliest years, to have a limited or one-dimensional version of this person, this human who participated in our creation, and contributed in one way or another to our growth as an individual. In comedy, the father figure is often the brunt of jokes and in literature, he is frequently portrayed as the absent or distant winner-of-our-daily-bread, or some sort of dark and foreboding taskmaster. He can be the fixer of all things broken or the one who broke them.

One of my best early memories of my dad happened when I was about ten. We were living in southern California at the time, at the edge of chaparral country. All the kids walked to the elementary school that was a couple blocks down the street and most of us walked home for lunch. It was a pretty idyllic time and place. One of my two best friends lived next door on a family farm. I remember the climbing trees, the berry bushes and the chickens in the roost. My other best friend lived across the field behind the elementary school. I remember hurrying home across that field, more than once, so that I would be home by dark (my curfew). My major mode of transportation was my big, sturdy, hand-me-down, bicycle that took me everywhere.

I didn’t have much experience with my dad. He had been overseas a lot on remote duty with the Air Force. I knew him from the daily letters our mom would get in the mail while he was away, and the short visits between foreign tours, and when he would come home for extended holidays. This time he had gotten posted at an air base in southern California where we could be all together as a family. While he was on these remote assignments, he spent a lot of time building things at the Hobby Shop, a place on the base where the airmen could go, hang out, and make stuff. It was the safest and sanest thing that these young men could do when they were away from their homes and their families. And yes, I realize I am making up this story.

In any case, when we were in southern California, he built a large balsa wood glider. It had at least a four-foot wingspan and he worked on it in the evenings for months and months. When it was finally finished, he needed help to fly it. We went out to the cow pasture behind our house and I held it, his masterpiece up over my head. He had glued what looked like drapery hooks under the fuselage. The rope that he used to launch it was draped over these hooks only for launch. He ran, tugging on the rope, pulling the plane out of my grasp. When the plane became airborne the rope fell away and the glider moved freely, untethered. Most of the time it flew. Sometimes it was only a short glide and a hop as it skidded along the grass, sometimes it caught the wind and rode the currents of air, up and up and up. We flew his glider for a number of months, getting a little braver and more adventurous each time. One day we took it to a new place by a road. It lifted brilliantly, caught the drafts and rose and glided just like the buzzards that rode the currents of air. It was breathtaking. Then suddenly as if it had run out of air, it plummeted to the ground, nose first onto the road. We both ran over to it, a pile of splinters and fragments, nothing to salvage. Heartbroken, I asked if he could fix it. He shook his head sadly and said no. Dejectedly, we both walked back to the car. I am sure he mourned the loss of his creation, though I was not aware of it. He put his model building tools away and took up other hobbies. Mostly he did the typical family things with all of us, visiting picnics and playgrounds, playing with frisbees and balls, taking hikes and drives. He didn’t return to building models until our brother was old enough to want his help in building model airplanes or star fighters from pre-cut kits of plastic bits.

So what is the Fathering Principle? According to Fillmore’s Metaphysical Bible Dictionary, it is the “exact and immutable Principle of Being, lying back of all existence as cause, and approachable only along lines of perfect law. It is omnipresent and not subject to change or open to argument.” Holmes calls it the “Assertive Principle of Being; the Self-Conscious, Self-Propelling Power of Spirit; the Projective Principle of Life, impregnating the Universal Soul with its Ideas and concepts; the Self-Assertive Spirit in either God or humanity.”

How does this show up for each of us? We father ourselves, encourage, assert and support our own sense of being and purpose. Is it hard? It seems hard sometimes; sometimes we seem to fail. What then? We gather ourselves together, regroup and get back up. It is worthwhile? You bet. It’s the best game on the planet.

–Rev Janis

It’s OK to Feel OK!

Leave a comment

It is okay to feel okay! In fact, it is even okay to be happy! My 89-year-old mother says that we feel guilty feeling happy when so many people are sad and when there are so many problems in the world. It is like a survivor’s guilt. If I am happy, does it mean that I do not care about global warming? Does it mean that I do not think it is important if the school kidnappings in Africa have included children as young as 4? Do I not express my concern through my feelings of distress?

I still struggle with this ingrained belief, but continue to focus on living in the belief of “All As Spirit” helps me feel some relief. I work hard at feeling good. The decision to feel good that does not always translate into the emotion. However, I also decide to act in ways that promote happiness.

During a recent “Roots of the Science of Mind” class, Rev. Janis began the session with a video in which there was a regular recitation of Neville Goddard’s meditation, “Isn’t it wonderful?” The goal was to experience a feeling of wonder and joy. In Resilient, the book we’re using in the June book study, there are short experiential exercises on grabbing hold of a happy feeling and basking in it. With both of those examples, I was not able to translate the feeling into a happy feeling or even a pleasant experience. It is like I tamp down those feelings.

Two weeks ago, I talked to my therapist about those experiences. I practice EMDR with her which is a treatment modality designed to free one of stuck emotional reactions by processing traumatic experiences that, in effect, get stuck in our psyche. I have found the process extremely helpful. My therapist talked to me about asking the Universe for help in feeling good and being willing to surrender fear. I wrote that on the back of the index card that I have by my PC with Emma Curtis Hopkins’ quote from page 96 of Scientific Christian Mental Practice, “I do believe that my God now works with, through, by and as me, to make me omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. I have faith in God. I have the faith of God.”

Daily, I have been asking the Divine for a sense of connection. This is also where I allow myself to recognize myself as the Divine and then surrender fear. What surrendering fear looks like to me is to relax and spend money that I used to hoard. We tithe on our personal income, and I pay the handful of medical bills that accumulate every few months. I allow myself to take money from an account where I have stashed it. My fear is often around financial lack which I imagine and then pull into me. For the last two weeks, I have been happier and have relaxed more. I repeat to myself when challenges arise that it is okay to feel okay. It is even okay to feel happy. I plan on reading the book and attending Rev. Janis’s class on resilience. Perhaps I will have a different experience this time.

–Marya Wheeler

America, An Incompletely-Actualized Ideal

Leave a comment

America is an incompletely-actualized ideal. It will only qualify as a fully-actualized ideal when “selfish gain no longer stain, the banner of the free!” (Taken from the original 1893 poem by Katharine Lee Bates.)

Yes. The United States of America is the present ideal of the idea, though flawed, “of freedom beating across the wilderness.” As freedom beat across the land, indigenous people were displaced and slaughtered. In 1893, its successes were not all noble, nor its gains divine. The indigenous population as well as imported Africans and women were excluded from sharing in the gains.

True, the grace of God or the One in Whom We Live, Move and Have Our Being has shined on the idea of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all, the vision. It will only become a reality as Martin Luther King Jr has stated, when this nation rises up and lives out the true meaning of its creed that all men, women, and children are created equal.

Since the idea has not yet materialized, the full expression of our good, which is brotherhood, has not yet been crowned.

So, I ask that we not let our emotional reactions to the song “America, The Beautiful” override the facts.

–Keith Gorley

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

Leave a comment

Bev Holland (RScP, with the CSL in Tacoma WA) led the morning meditation practice today, and I got to join because my 4-month (zoom) class in Spiral Dynamics ended last Tuesday. It was a treat for me to just hang out as a participant for a change, instead of lead.

The reading that Bev chose for this morning was from Ernest Holmes’ 365 Science of Mind. As always there were certain phrases that jumped out for different people. Some of the big ideas presented in this reading:

“spiritual laws execute themselves, just as do other laws of nature”

“my word penetrates every unbelief in my mind, casts out all fear, removes all doubt, clears away every obstacle, and permits that which is enduring, perfect
and true to be perceived by my mind.”

“all the statements I make … will be carried out as I have spoken.”

We get to remember the power that lives as us delivers on our commands every time. This is wonderful, and sometimes horrible news, because it means we have built-in accountability. It’s not ever punishment, but simply a recognition that our words, and the thoughts behind them, already have the power to create our experience, whether we are conscious of this fact, or not.

We also get to remember that we seldom understand the whole picture of our experience until well after the fact. It was Danish philosopher and theologian Soren Kierkegaard who said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but must be lived forward.”

And from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – “Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, then it’s not yet the end.”

We have lived through an ‘unprecedented, and historic’ (not really, but it sure feels like it) challenging 15-months. For some the individuals and groups, difficult and confronting times continue. None of these experiences are the truth of our being, they are just experiences we have had, and some continue to have.

One way to improve your ability to deal with life as it presents itself is to have a spiritual practice. If you don’t already have a daily morning practice of stopping for spiritual nourishment, I truly encourage you to start. If you don’t know what to do: read some spiritually uplifting writings or bask in some uplifting music or just simply lift your eyes to appreciate the beauty of where you live, followed by spending a few moments considering the wonder and beauty of whatever you’d stopped to notice, and then express gratitude to yourself, and to the greater whole, however you experience it. That’s a great place to start building a spiritual practice.

Further, each one of us can strengthen our resilience muscles, which increase our ability to engage with life and not lose our spiritual center. Get the book (Rick Hanson’s Resilient), read and consider the ideas, join the exploration on Sundays, and/or Tuesdays 5:30-7:30pm, and practice being more of that divine being that I know you already are.

–Rev Janis

Gardening with Ernest

Leave a comment

Guard well this garden of your mind. It is God’s garden of your soul. It is your Garden of Eden wherein may grow your fondest desires and hopes, blossoming into fulfillment.
— Ernest Holmes, This Thing Called You Chapter V

When I go out into the yard to plant flowers or pull weeds Ernest Holmes is with me. I think of his using the metaphor of planting ideas like seeds into the fertile soil of the Creative Medium. Seeds are put into the ground, the claim is made, and things grow in “thy time not my time” as Elizabeth Kubler-Ross used to say. Each type of seed has their own germination time. Sunflowers germinate in a week or so, and other plants may take many weeks to germinate.

Sometimes I buy plants from the nursery and when I remove them from the container, and they are root bound. This causes the plant to have stunted growth and it is time to put them in a larger container or in the ground. This is true with human life as well, roots need to spread to become stronger and healthier.

It may be necessary to cultivate your garden, to uproot the weeds and straighten out the rows, planting new seeds – new ideas, broader visions and deeper realizations of life. New aspirations must be bedded here, fertilized with the fervor hope, the conviction of faith, the beauty of wholeness and quietness of peace. Watch your garden carefully, guarded patiently, waiting for a new harvest –
for you shall reap what you have sown.
— Ernest Holmes, This Thing Called You Chapter V

When I pull weeds, my mother joins Ernest and me. She would say, “You have to pull out all the quackies,” which meant all of the roots needed to be pulled out. I get my weed digger and loosen the soil around the roots and gently pull. Most roots are surprising long. It makes me think of my doubts and fears, how they seem to resurface even though I thought I had dealt with them. By nurturing my connection with God, and tending to my thoughts, the doubts and fears seem to pop up less and less.

Go often, into your garden. Sitting under the tree of life in cool, quiet communion, you will find fresh inspiration. God will go forth anew too into creation through you.
— Ernest Holmes, This Thing Called You Chapter V

I have planted the front yard with sunflowers, hollyhocks and snapdragons. They bring me much joy. And I see my neighbors stop and look at the flowers, which also brings me great joy.

Watch carefully, then, this garden of your soul. Plant there only seeds of happiness, of joy, of peace and of — Ernest Holmes, This Thing Called You Chapter V

–Maria

Perspective, Perceptions and Expectations

Leave a comment

Like everyone else, I dance, and sometimes wrestle, with my perceptions and my expectations of myself and of others. You bet, I get disappointed when (fill-in-the-blank, it almost doesn’t matter, does it?). Sometimes I have to take myself by the hand and remember that it’s not my job to delineate and define exactly how other people are supposed to live. It’s my job to love them, and cut them some slack when they (fill in the blank). It’s not even my job to get too rigid about exactly how I’m supposed to live. It’s my job to love myself, and cut myself some slack when I fail … and then pick myself up and try again. This is also not to say, I benefit in any way from wallowing in self-pity, self-criticism, or any kind of self-hatred, nor do I benefit by thinking that way about anybody else. Further, it doesn’t let me off the hook about continuing to persevere in living up to the beliefs that I hold dear.

During morning practice the other week, I realized I had been speaking poorly about a basil plant that I bought at a garden center. Every time I watered it, I felt sad that it was so pitiful looking, and I said so. On reflection, there was no surprise that it withered away. Duh.

Dr Ernest Holmes wrote (The Science of Mind 387.1), “The spiral is ever upward. Evolution carries us forward, not backward. Eternal and progressive expansion is its law and there are no breaks in continuity. It seems to me that our evolution is the result of an unfolding consciousness of that which already is, and needs to be realized, to become a fact of everyday life.”

Each and every one of us is forever, even if it doesn’t feel like, seem like it, or look like it, on an upward trending track. This evolution is not measured in individual acts, but is measured in large sweeps of our lives. Are we on a trajectory toward a more positive way of being in the world? Holmes affirmed “Yes”, even if there doesn’t seem to be any evidence at the moment. We may be moving in microscopically small steps, but the direction is always upward and forward. Always.

I’ve been taking a weekly social evolution class through an organization based in Amsterdam. The theory is that people, and groups, are always evolving towards more complex ways of being. They are pushed by what happens in their lives until they are pulled by their mental models. I first came across this theory, which is called Spiral Dynamics, when I was in ministerial school in 2012, and thought it was the clearest explanation of human psychology at both the level of individuals, and of groups, that I had ever seen.

The model’s originator, Clare W. Graves wrote, “When the individual is finally able to see themselves and the world around them with clear cognition, they find a picture far more pleasant. Visible in unmistakable clarity, and devastating detail, is the human’s failure to be what they might be. This revelation causes them to leap out in search of a way of life and system of values which will enable them to be more than they have been. They seek a foundation of self-respect, which will have a value system rooted in knowledge and cosmic reality where they express themselves so that all others, all beings, can continue to exist. Their values now are of a different order from those at previous levels. They arise not from selfish interest but from the recognition of the magnificence of existence and the desire that it shall continue to be.”

He also wrote, “Damn it all, a person has a right to be who he is.” Anytime I wish someone to be different than they are, or myself to be different than I am, I get to take a step back and re-look at my expectations. Almost certainly what has happened is that I have forgotten that everybody has a right to be who they are, and learn from whatever life experiences they’re having. Thankfully, it’s not my job to choreograph their life, and it’s not my right to critique it.

And so, after this great big attitude adjustment, I circle back to Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements and remind myself what’s actually within my own personal scope. “Be impeccable with my word” (Don’t speak against myself or others), “Take nothing personally” (Nothing others do, or say, has anything to do with me), “Don’t make assumptions” (Ask, speak, and don’t assume anything), “Always do your best” (Remember that everyone already is doing their best, including me.).

Reframing of my perceptions, perspective and expectations is always in order.

–Rev Janis Farmer

1 … 9 10 11 12 13 … 17