Category: choice

Concealing My Natural Bindi, No More

Over the past many months, not seeing people except on Zoom or wearing a mask when I did see someone in person, I stopped wearing any make-up. Now that I am starting to get out and show my face to others more, it was time to re-examined my make-up routine.

I have worn make-up to cover “flaws” and even out my complexion. Taking a good look at myself in the mirror, I noticed that the red patch between my eyebrows appeared more significant than before. It reminded me of the red dot Hindi women wear.

I did not know what it was called. An internet search led me to the following:
… one of the most internationally-known body adornments worn by Hindu and Jain women is the bindi, a red dot applied between the eyebrows on the forehead. … There are seven main chakras that run along the center of the body, and the sixth one (called the ajna chakra, the “brow chakra” or “third eye chakra”) occurs exactly where the bindi is placed.

In Sanskrit, ajna translates as “command” or “perceive,” and is considered the eye of intuition and intellect. … the bindi’s purpose is to enhance the powers of this chakra, specifically by facilitating one’s ability to access their inner wisdom or guru, allowing them to see the world and interpret things in a truthful, unbiased manner as well as forsake their ego and rid their false labels.

… The two physical eyes are used for seeing the external world, while the third focuses inward toward God. As such, the red dot signifies piety as well as serving as a constant reminder to keep God at the center of one’s thoughts. (The Purpose of the Bindi by Shuvi Jha June 5, 2018)

After reading that, I no longer saw my naturally occurring “bindi” as a flaw, something to be covered up. Maybe it’s a little more pronounced these days because my connection with my internal Guide is getting stronger. The inside is being reflected on the outside. I am listening to the internal voice more and allowing intuition to guide my actions. In fact, the intention I have been asking my fellow MasterMind group participants to hold for me is “Spirit Guides me. All is well.” My bindi is a visual reminder of this connection to Spirit. I will now proudly leave it exposed.

Got Critics?

We all have them. If it’s not our own inner critic, it’s our family and sometimes even our closest friends. Through the years I have learned how to tame my own inner critic. Tame my family? Sometimes. Tame my friends? Not so much. I wonder what it is about me, that gives them the freedom/right to voice their unsolicited critical opinion of me, to me. I haven’t quite figured that out yet.

It was a typical Tuesday. A friend of mine walked in my home and saw something that she disapproved of. She stopped, pointed at it and immediately voiced her opinion at me. “I can’t believe you are feeding her this s***!” My body immediately felt a wave of tension rise up from my feet and come out my mouth. In an instant I was in defensive mode. She picks it up and starts reading the ingredients. “I know you don’t want to hear it.”

“No I don’t!” as I looked away. She continued on, and on, voicing her criticism of me and at the same time not wanting to hear my couple-minute-long defense.

Eventually we both dropped the conversation, but I picked it back up as soon as she left. The criticism of me, and the entire conversation, went around and around in my head. She said, I said. I took it to bed with me.

I woke up to a typical Wednesday, and chose to marinate on it all day, feeling my body tense up when ever I thought of it. I just wanted to let it go. I kept thinking, “consider the source” and mentally saying, “Not a word of truth in it.” That continued all Wednesday.

Finally and coincidentally (there are no coincidences) came the typical Thursday. Just like every other day, my day started out with our morning meditation group. During our 10 minute meditation I always read Norman Vincent Peale’s book Have a Great Day – Every Day! This day’s reading was written for me. I have reread it many times since then. This is what he had to say,

“A critic is an asset, though perhaps an unpleasant one. Consider criticism objectively and whether it is justified. If it is, then try to profit by it, even when it is unfriendly. If it isn’t valid, then forget it. Don’t criticize in return, just keep on doing your job to the best of your ability. Sure, it hurts, but we are not intended to go through life without some hurt. We are supposed to make strong people of ourselves.”

Since a critic is an asset, I’ll keep my critics and continue to work on taming them. They are in effect making me strong.

–Madeline Pallanes

Hide The Ball

I don’t know if you remember that old magician’s trick with the usually three upturned cups and the ball that seems to magically move from cup to cup, and the observer never quite knows where the ball is, or how it got there. In one of our Practitioner classes years ago, a dear friend said, “I play hide the ball with myself all the time, and it frustrates me!” When she said it, I realized I couldn’t imagine a more appropriate way to describe how we keep ourselves from knowing ‘stuff’ that we claim we want to know. Most of us do this, at least sometimes. This is not a criticism. I think it’s an aspect of being human.

I’ve been using this pandemic cloistering period to work on my writing practice in a world-wide community of writers. The way this program is set up, everyone has a page of their own as a place to show their work. It’s a little cumbersome until you get the hang of it (like most things are when they are new), but it’s really not hard to find your own page. I’m watching one of my writing friends do his darnedest to keep himself from writing, and letting himself acknowledge that he actually writes well and beautifully. He’s a smart guy. He’s got a successful day job. And he’s got this other side that’s creative, poetic, profound and astoundingly lyrical in its beauty and depth.

This morning I noticed that he’d written an extraordinary piece of incredibly touching poetry on someone else’s ‘page’, and sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know how to find his own page. We’ve been in this writing program for five months. Twice I’ve offered to zoom with him on his computer to show him how to find his own page. I know of two other people, moderators of the writing program, who have also offered to assist him. Someone even made him a ‘how to’ sheet of directions, and he persists in hiding the ball from himself. I just wanted to cry when I saw his commentary this morning.

If we, or someone else, don’t want to know something, there is nothing that can be done to force them or us to see, and know. It’s not like having a puppy and rubbing their noses in it when we catch them peeing in the house. We don’t learn that way. Once we finally do wake up to the game and see though, and are willing to own our own ability, agency, autonomy, authority, responsibility and power, there’s nothing that stands in our way.

Being part of a world-wide writing community is both exciting and terrifying. I was telling one of my artist friends about it, and she was horrified at the idea of showing her work to others as it was in process, specifically so that other people could comment on it. I told her it was really quite fabulous, because one of the rules of engagement in this group was that commenters were required to be constructive, and kind. Early on when I joined this online writers’ group, I noticed the moderators, quickly and decisively, removed two people who didn’t know how to be constructive and kind.

It serves each of us to have a small group of supportive friends, who we trust and who actually have our best interests in mind and heart, and who will help us see our blind spots. Without that, it’s easy to just keep playing ‘hide the ball’, and we don’t learn and grow.

–Rev Janis Farmer

A Belief in the Potential Goodness

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What is Hope and why is it so important to sustaining a happier more fulfilling life?

I looked in the dictionary and found different definitions for Hope — words that include desire, anticipation, and expectation. But, that is not really what Hope is about.

The problem with desire, anticipation and expectation is that when a particular thing is not forthcoming, they can disappear, leading to a void into which negative thoughts and feelings can enter. I have certainly experienced this result many times.

Hope is not tied to a particular outcome, it does not depend on certainty, but a belief that there is a potential for something good to happen.

Knowing that ‘something good’ is not specific; it is merely the expectancy of a Positive outcome, which is one of the reasons that spiritual mind treatments are so helpful in redirecting my negative expectations.

Hope is a healer, puts my hurts and pains into a perspective and reminds me that things are forever changing; it is akin to trust that any negative feelings will pass.

Hope is a motivator, and beautiful source of energy that keeps me going when I feel like I have hit a brick wall.

Hope has never been more needed and believed in, than our present time, with COVID and its variants on the rise again. It helps me to know that there is still the potential for something good to come out of it.

I have already seen some positive changes in my own life and the lives of others I know, that can be partially contributed to COVID and subsequent lockdowns.

I see it as a creative opportunity for me to go within and find my true God-self and gain inner peace and trust that life has me just exactly where I am supposed to be.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness”
— Desmond Tutu

–Namaste, Janie

Didn’t It Rain?!?!?!?!

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Photo M. Horowitz

I’m so grateful for the substantial monsoons we’re experiencing in Tucson this summer. They have a long way to go before we’ve caught up to our average rainfall for this past year. I choose to believe the rains of the last month have helped reduce the deficit. When I saw the rainfall totals late last week, and the flooding in parts of town, I was reminded of an old spiritual, “Didn’t It Rain, Children“, performed and sung by Sister Rosetta Tharpe
in 1944.  She was incredible, the lesser-known grandmother of rock and roll.

The picture I posted in the newsletter shows Sabino Dam at 700 CFS (cubic feet/second) The photo is courtesy of M. Horowitz, past-president of Sabino Canyon Volunteer Patrollers. As of last Friday morning (after our big rainfall event last Thursday night), the discharge rate at the dam is about 3500 CFS (or 5 times higher than when the photograph was taken), and the water volumes briefly hit about 9000 CFS overnight. The levels on Friday still indicated dangerously high flooding. We’ve had continued rainfall over the weekend, so while the water levels might have dropped, they might still be as high. I haven’t gone out to the Canyon to look.

We have a complicated relationship with rain. Rainfall is critical to life in the desert, just as potable water is critical to human life. In both cases, too much or too fast can create problems, if we haven’t prepared adequately for them. Sometimes, it isn’t possible to prepare, and we just hold on.

The song “Didn’t It Rain, Children” tells the story of Noah’s Ark. It can be told from a couple different perspectives, like all good teaching parables presented in the Jewish Torah and the Christian Bible. It’s either a cautionary tale about what can happen when we misbehave, and ‘daddy god’ gets really upset with us and wipes us off the face of the earth. Or it can be a tale of redemption and promise, that heavenly parent god taking care of the humans who noticed, listened and worked toward their own experience of good for themselves and others (the animals). While I don’t believe this story is an actual-factual literal account of what happened to Noah and his family (if, indeed, they were actual people), or necessarily that there was a cataclysmic flood that destroyed almost all of humanity, there are some useful take-aways in the teaching parable.

We do always get to pay attention to what’s going on in our minds and in our lives, and take appropriate action. We have this failsafe partner in the Law that shows us exactly what we believe, and makes no errors in matching up what we believe with what we get to experience. And we have the perpetual promise of a rainbow when we align our actions with the highest and greatest good.

From Ernest Holmes, Hidden Power of the Bible, “The Bible is a book pointing a way to freedom under law, to guidance under love, to revelation through reason. Let us approach its study with this in mind, and much will become clear.”

“I’ve heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true.” – Roald Dahl
(creator of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, James & the Giant Peach, Matilda and so much more)

–Rev Janis

The Contagion of Fear, Or Not

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It occurred to me that for the last 16 months, most of my focus has been on the Pandemic, which appeared to be under control, and now has reared its ugly head again with warnings about possible cardiac side affects from current vaccines for young people, and of course, the new highly contagious, Delta variant that has come front and center.

Thoughts of fear and dread that can easily accompany this information overload have a tendency to overwhelm me. I decided to open up Living the Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes and see what he had to say regarding FEAR. I share some of his quotes from pages 362-363, which gave me great comfort.

First of all, if you are filled with fears, do not harbor them as a great secret in your life, but find some close friend or confidant to whom you may unburden your whole soul. This will release the tension, which your fears have built up in your body. Just to talk with a calm, confident person, who can point out the reason why you need not entertain these fears is a great relief.

For the next thing, you must learn to face your fears. You should not be afraid to analyze them and you should explain to yourself just why you know there is nothing to be afraid of.

And the next thing to do is convince yourself that you would not be here were there not a Power greater than you are that put you here. Never be afraid to say to this Power and this Divine Presence: “I now lay down all my fears, doubts and anxieties. I pass them back into the great and perfect Life of which I know I am a part.”

We all need to resurrect this little child within us, who unfortunately has been so buried in our unhappy experiences that we have almost forgotten she was there. But we have not quite forgotten, have we? We all need to resurrect the confidence in life which we had in our youth.

Faith alone can heal this confusion and drive from our minds all thoughts of fear, and dissipate all anxiety. Love alone can bring harmony into our lives. So, say to yourself:

“I lay all fear aside, and in confidence and complete faith I turn to the one perfect Divine Presence, knowing that the light of Truth shines upon my path even as Divine Love guides me to the Secret Place of the Most High, where I dwell under the shadow of the Almighty.

I know there is nothing to be afraid of in God’s world. Fear cannot operate in me, nor can it go forth from me. At the very center of my being there is a consciousness of the protection of Divine Love, the guidance of Divine Wisdom, and the strength of Divine Power..

And I turn in to the great God, who knows all things and who can do all things, and say: “Lead, kindly light, amid the encircling gloom; lead Thou me on.”

All of the above really enabled me to change my mind and my mood, and I pray that Ernest Holmes wise words help others who may suffer from fear of any kind.

Namaste, Janie

 

 

Got Fear?

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Most recently, I have noticed more fear conversations inside my head. These fear conversations have probably been going on all along, I just hadn’t noticed them much. Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Fear is part of (almost) everyone’s life experience. Sometimes we use fear to our advantage and sometimes we use it to our disadvantage. Sometimes fear is valid, sometimes it’s not. But it’s there none-the-less. It’s used in all of us in different situations, surfacing one thought at a time. Fear. Fear is an “F” word.

But what about the other “F” word? You know what word I’m talking about. It is in each and every one of us, too. Sometimes we use it to our advantage sometimes we don’t remember to. But it’s there none-the-less. We remember to use, sometimes, in different situations, surfacing one thought at a time. Faith. Faith is an “F” word.

In The Science of Mind glossary (page 591), Faith is defined as ‘“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is a mental attitude, so inwardly embodied that the mind can no longer deny it. Faith is complete when it is both a conscious and subjective acceptance. Faith may be consciously generated. In spiritual terminology, faith means a belief in the presence of invisible principle and law which directly and specifically responds to us. “Thy faith has made thee whole.”’

Which “F” word is more prevalent in your thoughts? I have consciously generated many fear thoughts throughout my years. Most of these fear thoughts were only a thought. Any thought can be changed. I’m letting go of the thoughts that no longer serve me. I am changing so that my faith is complete with a conscious and subjective acceptance, one thought at a time. I am living a life I love though the teachings, practices and faith of CSLT.

—Madeline Pallanes

Perspective, Perceptions and Expectations

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Like everyone else, I dance, and sometimes wrestle, with my perceptions and my expectations of myself and of others. You bet, I get disappointed when (fill-in-the-blank, it almost doesn’t matter, does it?). Sometimes I have to take myself by the hand and remember that it’s not my job to delineate and define exactly how other people are supposed to live. It’s my job to love them, and cut them some slack when they (fill in the blank). It’s not even my job to get too rigid about exactly how I’m supposed to live. It’s my job to love myself, and cut myself some slack when I fail … and then pick myself up and try again. This is also not to say, I benefit in any way from wallowing in self-pity, self-criticism, or any kind of self-hatred, nor do I benefit by thinking that way about anybody else. Further, it doesn’t let me off the hook about continuing to persevere in living up to the beliefs that I hold dear.

During morning practice the other week, I realized I had been speaking poorly about a basil plant that I bought at a garden center. Every time I watered it, I felt sad that it was so pitiful looking, and I said so. On reflection, there was no surprise that it withered away. Duh.

Dr Ernest Holmes wrote (The Science of Mind 387.1), “The spiral is ever upward. Evolution carries us forward, not backward. Eternal and progressive expansion is its law and there are no breaks in continuity. It seems to me that our evolution is the result of an unfolding consciousness of that which already is, and needs to be realized, to become a fact of everyday life.”

Each and every one of us is forever, even if it doesn’t feel like, seem like it, or look like it, on an upward trending track. This evolution is not measured in individual acts, but is measured in large sweeps of our lives. Are we on a trajectory toward a more positive way of being in the world? Holmes affirmed “Yes”, even if there doesn’t seem to be any evidence at the moment. We may be moving in microscopically small steps, but the direction is always upward and forward. Always.

I’ve been taking a weekly social evolution class through an organization based in Amsterdam. The theory is that people, and groups, are always evolving towards more complex ways of being. They are pushed by what happens in their lives until they are pulled by their mental models. I first came across this theory, which is called Spiral Dynamics, when I was in ministerial school in 2012, and thought it was the clearest explanation of human psychology at both the level of individuals, and of groups, that I had ever seen.

The model’s originator, Clare W. Graves wrote, “When the individual is finally able to see themselves and the world around them with clear cognition, they find a picture far more pleasant. Visible in unmistakable clarity, and devastating detail, is the human’s failure to be what they might be. This revelation causes them to leap out in search of a way of life and system of values which will enable them to be more than they have been. They seek a foundation of self-respect, which will have a value system rooted in knowledge and cosmic reality where they express themselves so that all others, all beings, can continue to exist. Their values now are of a different order from those at previous levels. They arise not from selfish interest but from the recognition of the magnificence of existence and the desire that it shall continue to be.”

He also wrote, “Damn it all, a person has a right to be who he is.” Anytime I wish someone to be different than they are, or myself to be different than I am, I get to take a step back and re-look at my expectations. Almost certainly what has happened is that I have forgotten that everybody has a right to be who they are, and learn from whatever life experiences they’re having. Thankfully, it’s not my job to choreograph their life, and it’s not my right to critique it.

And so, after this great big attitude adjustment, I circle back to Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements and remind myself what’s actually within my own personal scope. “Be impeccable with my word” (Don’t speak against myself or others), “Take nothing personally” (Nothing others do, or say, has anything to do with me), “Don’t make assumptions” (Ask, speak, and don’t assume anything), “Always do your best” (Remember that everyone already is doing their best, including me.).

Reframing of my perceptions, perspective and expectations is always in order.

–Rev Janis Farmer

Course Correction

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I have had some experiences lately that have pulled me way off my spiritual path. Negative thinking about myself, and my situation, have caused me to stop and reconsider my life, and take another look at solutions.

Recently, I ran across 3 pages of notes from Rev Janis’ class on affirmations while shuffling through some paperwork that really reminded me of all the possibilities that there are available to me.

A quote from The Art of Life by Ernest Holmes:

“Life works by direct affirmation.
There is no other way for it to work.
That is why we are told to be still and know that all things are possible to God.
We are told to affirm, positively to assert, to declare this truth,
in the face of all apparent opposition;
to claim abundance in the midst of poverty;
to affirm health in the midst of sickness;
to declare joy in the midst of sorrow;
and to announce the Kingdom of God here and now.”

Affirmations are positive statements that help me to challenge and overcome self-sabotage and negative thinking, which come from my Ego. When I repeat them often, and believe them, I can start to make positive changes.

Also, my attitude is a choice. I have decided I won’t be pushed around by my fears, and worry about what I can’t control. I can shift my energy to what I can create. I can become my own life coach via regular meditation and prayer. Repetition strengthens and confirms whatever I wish my conscious thought to tell me.

Meditation helps me in so many ways, especially in bypassing my monkey mind chatter and generally puts me in a more receptive way of seeing my life. I have participated in enough workshops and courses to know how to get to the solution. I am so grateful for the teachings and beliefs in Science of Mind.

I am back on the road to recovery from my scrambled thinking.

Namaste, Janie

 

What’s Next?

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In the blissful afterglow of completing 14-week runs of “Exploring the Roots of the Science of Mind” and “Foundations of the Science of Mind”, the question always arises. “What’s next?” The answer, “It depends…”

In one way, we are entering into a transition period — between winter and summer. Each one of us is beginning to look at our summer plans, and consider that we might actually have summer plans this year. Those winter visitors who actually made it down this year have left, or are leaving us soon for the summer, or thinking about when they will head north.

We’ve had a steady push of online classes since the lock-down began, completing 5 of the 6 major certificated classes in the last 15 months. That’s not entirely true, “Essential Ernest” completed the week before lock- down began, and last year’s “Foundations” class only finished online, after starting in person. The 6th of the primary certificated classes, “Visioning” will be offered on zoom beginning in mid-May by a practitioner and ministerial student from CSL Reno, Laura Arneson.

Keith Gorley has had a steady feed of classes and groups throughout this period too — Men’s group, Karen Armstrong’s Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (twice), Ernest Holmes’ Art of Life & Emerson’s Essays.

We have plans for some small book study groups starting later this month, one on zoom with Pat Masters hosting, & one in-person with Elaine Rockhill hosting for fully vaccinated (+2 weeks) individuals. The book is Julia Cameron’s The Prosperous Heart. It’s not too late to join, yet.

We’ve not skipped a beat with our Sunday Services and have enjoyed our own CSLT Orchestra, as they have figured out how to do great music, regardless of the constraints of zoom. We’ve enjoyed many guest speakers and musicians, almost one a month, that we would not have been able to celebrate with, had we been meeting in-person. Our next one is Faith Rivera on April 25th, joining us *live* from her home studio in Hawai’i. The week after that, Jan Garrett & JD Martin will be with us *live* from their Colorado home studio. We look forward to these talented guests.

Daily practice has continued daily without exception since mid-March of last year. Attendance continues to drop off slowly, after hitting a high of 14 persons/day on average back in December & January. On those days when I can’t facilitate because I have another commitment, practitioner/friend, Bev Holland from CSL Tacoma, has stepped up to lead. Maria Schuchardt runs the zoom platform for her. As things begin to open up more, there may be less need for this kind of connection. I dunno.

So what’s next? We have begun thinking about how we can live-stream, and video-record when we do return to in-person services, which could be as early as September.

We’ve begun thinking about new places we might advertise, so that people who don’t know about us can find us. In our last two community surveys, we asked individuals how they found us. In both the 2018 survey and the 2020 survey, the majority of the respondents told us they found us in one of three ways: word-of-mouth, online searches, or because they had attended another CSL and were looking for something similar in Tucson. The results were similar in earlier surveys. Two or three people find us through advertising. A few more find us ‘accidentally’ like I did back in early 2009, when I happened to see our sandwich board sign while driving on River Road. Or they happen to walk in to see what we are doing on a Sunday morning and decide they like what they see and hear, or stop by the office when they suddenly notice the sign that has been in front of our office on S Craycroft Rd since 2019.

What happens next for you? You get to decide. Isn’t that simply fabulous?

–Rev Janis Farmer

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